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Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Just because it’s “that time of the year”, I understand that I don’t have to a story about Christmas, and in a way, this is about much more than just Christmas… it’s about life in general- saying what’s on your mind, and not necessarily what others EXPECT or even WANT for you to say. Besides, it’s a pretty good time of year, and easy pickins’ for subject matter. So let’s get started.

O.K., its 2 days past Thanksgiving, and the Christmas shopping craze is in full swing. These fruitcakes have been out in the cold, since 12:00 am two days ago, trampling each other, and filling the season with the spirit of Jesus coming down to pay us a visit in a manger. But aside from the Holiness of the whole situation, what’s the big deal? What the big rush? Are the savings really that big, or is the Christmas rush to shop just a big social outing? I don’t know, but it’s definitely out of my league. That question is right up there with “What is the excess of success?” I don’t know, but I’d sure like to find out.

What about the meaning of the season? christmas choirWell, that’s a good question, or maybe it just a nice thought. Yeah, I think that it’s just a nice thought, and I’ll tell ya why. It was only yesterday, I was walking into our favorite store, Wal-Mart. Now that is the excess of success. God bless Sam Walton. “Mr. Sam”… is that a joke or what? These people that work in that place treated him like he was the 2nd coming, and that was when the poor guy was alive. Can you imagine, now that he want and kicked the bucket, they’re probably kneeling down and praying to him over a sacrament of Sam’s Choice Chips & Salsa. Good grief!

I’m walking into this joint, and I hear a bell ringer. Well, I’m pretty busy just now, so all I did was to go around him, and pretend not to even see the guy. Besides, they get plenty of pesos from other people. Did you notice that I included “Chips & Salsa”, along with “pesos” in the last sentence (s)…? How’s that for a melting pot…? Denada, mi amigo! Anyhow, I go into the store, buy my list of whatever it was that I needed, and I go to walk back out. Right off the bat, I realized that I had made a mistake. What I meant to do was to walk out of the store back there by the automotive section. I decided to do this after I walked in, to bypass the bell ringer. I really didn’t want to have to avoid him again. Too late, I was already through the little air-lock looking space between the automatic doors, and was being pushed right along, in good fashion.

What happened next is kind of hard to explain, but I’ll try my very best. The way all of this worked out was that I was in the middle of a crowd, more like a herd, of slow moving shoppers; each with his (or her) own problems, and insecurities, all holding his (or her) own prized purchases. I am no different. However, if it had not been for this, I wouldn’t have noticed what it was that I noticed. At first, I could barely hear the bell ringer’s voice. Oh, I could certainly hear the bell, how can you miss that annoying, just not his voice. As the herd inched forward, I began to notice that this guy was saying something… “Happy Holidays”, ring ring… “Happy Holidays”, ring ring… “Happy Holidays”, ring ring… “Happy Holidays”, RING RING!

Was this guy messing with me or what? They might as well have the Easter Bunny out her throwing rotten eggs at a Nativity. What happened to Merry Christmas, RING RING RING, and while you’re at it, throw in a couple- HALLELLUAHS!

I know how this all came about, I’m not stupid. Somebody was offended with the thought that when it’s Christmas time, somehow people should not say that it’s Christmas time. I get it. I suppose it’s the whole separation of Church and State, separation of Church and Wal-Mart thing. We’re sorry to have excluded you or hurt your precious feelings court case thing! Some little misguided, mommy didn’t him enough, head stuck the litter box sand Atheist, was offended. Offended that if we’re gonna celebrate Jesus’ Birthday, that someone maybe might want to call it by its proper name- CHRISTMAS

Well, you know what, I’m offended. I’m offended that because of all that, I now am forced to shuffle my way past a bell ringer at Wal-Mart, and listen to him tell everyone and their brother through a fake Santa Clause beard… happy holidays. I’m not even gonna capitalize it anymore. Small case letters only please, thank you very much… happy holidays.

You know what, I’m not even really tat upset with the bell ringer guy, he’s just doing his job, or penance, or whatever you want to call it. christmas villageNo, I’m more upset with all of these people, walking by, eyes on the ground, agreeing with this dude, and saying “happy holidays” right back to him. Everyone so scared, so afraid that they should be the one to shake it off and look up at this guy, and stop shuffling their fee, and look him square in the eye, and put their hand on his shoulder, and say “Merry Christmas”, and drop a couple bucks in the kettle. Well, what say you? I’ll be that one! Will you?

Now get on out there and offend someone. This is probably the only time I’ll ever get to tell people to go out and offend someone, and will have my own sweet Mom smile approvingly. I will not let this opportunity pass me by.


Find this and other short stories in the collection “Cornfields to City Streets”, at Amazon- Just In Time For Christmas!Cornfields to City Streets Book Cover 84 pages